"NOT IF BUT WHEN"
Matthew 18:15-20

Pentecost 17A -- September 7, 2008

In the Name of Jesus. Amen.

Sin is a part of all human relationships. Sin is a part of life in all forms of human community, even the community of faith. No one can accuse Jesus, nor St. Paul in his letter to the Christians in Rome, of being some kind of pie-in-the-sky romantics when it comes to the Christian life -- whether at a personal level, or a congregational one. To the contrary, Jesus is painfully realistic in this morning’s text. He seems to assume that there will be wrongs committed in the fellowship of his followers, that even in the community of faith human sin will disrupt even the deepest of relationships from time to time. The issue for Jesus – who was betrayed to death by one of his disciples – is not if wrong will be done among his disciples but when – and even more to the point, what to do when it occurs.

No one likes talking about this in the church. But the sad truth is that some congregations are almost defined by such things as gossip, fault-finding, bearing false witness against someone or some group within its life together. It seems to always be brewing somewhere. I dealt with several congregations like this when I was an Assistant to the Bishop in southern Ohio some years ago. It simply moves around – focusing for a while on the pastor, then shifting perhaps to the church council, then maybe it shifts to the custodian for a time, then to another staff person, then back to the pastor, then to the organist...There are congregations where rumor and discord in one form or another seem to be virtually a way of congregational life.

Then there is the other, equally unhealthy, extreme: congregations which try to operate as if “nice” church people never disagree. In fact, we can go as far as to say that many Christians suffer from a kind of congregational Pollyanna complex, believing that because we are Christians we will always get along, no one will ever say or do the wrong thing, that everyone will always have at heart the best interests of God’s will and our mission as servants of Jesus Christ, and never operate from selfish or self-serving motives – in short, that no one in this congregation ever sins! We all check our sin at the door when we enter the building, behave as the saints in light, and then pick up our sin again when we leave.

Of course, as soon as I say that out loud, we recognize how absurd, how unrealistic that is. In a community of faith with so many different points of view, different life experiences, different understandings – given such amazing human and divine complexities -- it is really no surprise, is it, that we are sometimes going to say or do the wrong thing; that from time to time we are going to see our own and each others’ sinfulness, bald and unadorned, staring us right in the face.

In a small family-sized congregation which worshiped about 75-80 people on a Sunday, week after week two brothers came to church. Week after week, they recited the prayer of confession and received absolution. Week after week, they sang praises to God and were encouraged and challenged by God’s Word. Week after week, they made their offering to God and prayed for the church and for all in need. Month after month, they received the sacrament of Holy Communion.

Year after year, the two brothers grew older. They were now in their 70’s. Week after week for years, they sat in the front pew but on opposite sides of the church from one another.

You see, the two brothers had had a bitter quarrel when they were in their 40’s, and had not spoken to one another for over 30 years. Week after week for over 30 years, as they made their way to church, they rehearsed and renewed their anger toward one another, putting as much distance between one another as they possibly could. Finally, when one brother died, the widow would not allow the other brother to attend the visitation or the funeral. Even in death, the anger lived on.

How many people in this congregation, brothers or sisters related not by biological blood but by the blood of Jesus Christ, carry and continue to fuel resentments and anger, week after week, month after month, year after year, refusing to admit fault or to forgive, stirring up ill will toward another person or group?

Not unlike children, even we adults like to see the outlaw captured, the crook caught, the villain out-smarted, the tyrant toppled, the troublemaker pay. And if it’s not done officially, we often take it upon ourselves to serve people their “just desserts.” In communities and in congregations, “shunning” is sometimes used to express our anger. Shunning is the simple practice by an individual or a group of refusing to acknowledge another person’s existence, even when that person is standing right in front of you. You take a longer way from point A to point B in order to avoid coming in contact with that person; you do not look at or speak to that person even if standing right next to you. If that person speaks to you, you try to ignore them or, if you can’t, you say as little as possible and move away from him or her. While you won’t talk TO the person, you are happy to talk ABOUT the person.

But Jesus teaches a different way for his disciples to deal with one another. Notice that Jesus makes no mention of punishment. The words “disciple” and “discipline” are variations of the same word. To disciple AND to discipline someone mean virtually the same thing: to teach, to train, to enlighten, to inspire. When you look closely at what Jesus teaches here, it is clear he is far more concerned about teaching, training, and inspiring repentant sinners than about punishing them.

Interestingly, this text follows Jesus’ Parable of the Lost Sheep, where the shepherd leaves the 99 and goes to search for the one who is lost – why? – in order to kick its sorry derrière out, to scold or insult, to heap his anger on it? No, the shepherd leaves the 99 to search for the one who is lost in order to bring it back to the fold.

The whole thrust of Jesus’ teachings in this whole section of Matthew is to win back those who have wronged another, or been wronged themselves. This isn’t about petty stuff, about simply having different opinions and preferences; this is the real deal – hurtful stuff, things said or done which have treated another shabbily, sorely wounding another. The goal of what Jesus teaches here is not for one to win and the other to lose – whether we’re talking about individuals or  seam groups – but to find peace and reconciliation together in Christ, to restore the relationship, perhaps even to strengthen it by the willingness to confess, to forgive, then to put it aside the way Jesus puts our sins aside in forgiveness “as far as the east is from the west,” and move on.

Three important points from this text:
  1. Notice that in Jesus’ teaching here, when wrong is done within the community of believers, it is the one who feels he or she has been offended who takes the initiative and the first steps toward reconciliation. Sometimes, the offending person has no idea that something they said or did hurt another person. In the words of The Message, “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him -- work it out between the two of you” – not to just heap your anger on him or her, but again, that goal of restoration: “If he listens, you've made a friend.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. put it this way: “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of [ill will and bitterness]. By its very nature, hate destroys and tears down; by its very nature, love creates and builds up.”
  1. We have already discovered that Jesus assumes that believers will sin against, hurt one another, unintentionally if nothing else. It is to be expected, in fact, when such important matters as being faithful to Jesus in a sinful and complicated world are at stake. What is also expected is that the church survive and grow in faith and integrity by dealing straightforwardly with it. Nursing grudges by talking poorly about someone behind his or her back, or bearing false witness, has no place in the family of God. Followers of Jesus commit themselves to setting things right.
  1. While sinning against one another is not unusual among communities of faith, no community of faith can be maintained in harmony and righteousness without forgiveness. But Jesus also makes clear that forgiveness is not an easy, knee-jerk response to being wounded. It is not something we can demand of another. It takes decision, effort, and openness to being healed of our anger. Truthfully, it sometimes takes time for healing to take place, so that forgiveness can be genuine. Sometimes, we don’t want to be done being angry! That satisfying feeling of self-righteousness we feel when we’re angry is hard to give up. Few commands of Jesus are as tough as his command in this text to seek  reconciliation, and to forgive.
This may help us: there is no sin we are asked to forgive in others that Jesus has not already forgiven in us – countless times.

Also remember that although Jesus says when all efforts of reconciliation have failed to “let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” and we are tempted to lapse into judgment or shunning – remember just who Jesus spent an awful lot of his time with…

One Bible commentator has wisely written:
Once again, the Bible refuses to help us with our judgmentalism. We have met these despicable “Gentiles and tax collectors” and they are us. In the searching moral gaze of God’s eyes, we’re all Gentiles and tax collectors. The stray sheep that the Shepherd is out seeking is us, whether we strayed from the path by whom we slept with last night, or we have strayed from the meaning of true church by whom we have condemned in church this morning.

Finally, as familiar as we all are with Jesus’ words, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them,” how many of us realized that Jesus gives us this assurance not in a discussion about prayer or Bible study or worship or some other pious activity, but in a discussion about disagreement and offense among believers, his teaching about seeking reconciliation. It could even be translated, “Where two or three are gathered back together in my name, I am there among them.”

Jesus is standing squarely in our midst, sitting silently in these pews beside you. May he, wounded unto death by your and my sin, give us the strength and the will to truly be his disciples when it matters – not if, but when, we have felt offended. Amen.

Rev. Joan Gunderman, Senior Pastor
Lutheran Church of the Cross, Nisswa, Minnesota



See the index of our online sermon collection
Return to the home page of Lutheran Church of the Cross